She makes the appointment for us and later thursday night we drive to this spa. Well in fact this whole journey started before that night because for the past two weeks i had to grow my hair long enough so it could be waxed. Let me tell you there is NOTHING more gross then living on a lake and growing your leg hair out. I felt like an ape...or a man. So gross. I don't know how men get up and do that every morning. When i put pants on, gross hair was there to great me. I had to wear long pants to the pool (to watch my brother swim), to the grocery store, even to bed (it is so gross to feel your hairy legs rub together)! After those two weeks i didn't think anything could stop me from yanking every hair out individually...myself! But no i waited for the professionals.
PFF!!! professional! I have never been in so much pain! There is nothing like the pain of having your hair yanked from its natural place in your pores by a hot layer of wax! It is so deceiving. You walk into the spa excited, a little nervous. A bright eyed lady greets you and tells you to relax it will only be a few minutes. You sit and let the enya music roll over you and your mind decides, "why nothing bad can happen in such a peaceful calm place." you sigh and look at a cheap gossip magazine.
A few minutes pass and another very clean lady comes out and leads you to a small room. She informs you to lay out on this warm, squishy table/bed. You lay there and sweet incense flows over you in time with the relaxing music. You sigh and for a moment you feel like you have entered heaven. The lady talks a few minutes about how you can't go into a pool and how you need to be hydrated. You sigh and nad. As she puts the warm wax on you your mind registers that although that feels good it might not go so well with your leg hair...then WHAM!!!! Your mind goes fuzzy your eyes water and you swear that someone has just skinned you! You look down to see if your leg has any skin left. The women who looked so kind, all dressed in white, says something about how that wasn't so bad. It is then that it hits you and your heart never stops beating above a techno speed...That was one very small section of your very long legs. Which means that you still have 99% of your legs to go. All the sudden the incense feels like it is clogging your lungs, the once calm music is hissing in your ears, and you swear that lady just grew horns. Every application of the warm liquid of pain is only to remind you that in ten seconds you will be realing in pain...pain you paid to have done to you. Your once vial leg hair now seems like the least of your worries. In fact you debate the whole time whether you could tell her you changed your mind. Have one leg waxed and one wonderfully hairy. But with each RIP you forget what you had decided. By the end of what feels like hours upon hours the lady smiles and says, "great lets put some oil on you! Now you are going to have to come in two more times so we can traumatize the hair follicles, but it gets easier after those two times." If you weren't so stunned that you still had skin on your legs then you just might give that devil of a women who trapped you in her suffocatingly squishing bed a hard right hook! But instead you nod and pray she lets you out of that small room.
I don't think i could leave that place fast enough. Two more times?! Please you'd have to be insane.
So now? Now i still have to shave every morning. I shave my entire leg because there are only patches of places the hair is growing back. So now instead of the silky, soft, hairless, legs i dreamed of i have patchy, peach fuzz hair to shave each morning. Thank you SPA and devil women.
If you are ever to get your legs waxed, 1) get medicated 2.) bring something to bite or hold on to 3.) bring head phones 4.) realize...you'll still have to shave.
